Tag Archives: children

The Rat-Tail: A Fond Look Back

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Reblogged from You Monsters Are People.:

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I do not know if there even is a country where the rat-tail hairstyle doesn't exist but if you were born there, I cannot trust your understanding of the world as accurate. Seeing the haircut changes a person for the rest of their life and I can say, without hyperbole, that my childhood would not have been the same without the deep and profound effect the rat-tail had on my perception of reality.

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While I think I had something like a rat-tail in the very early 90s, it's not as hilarious as the chumps who rocked them in the mid-90s... CHUMPS!

Do Oo Wike Baby Tawk?

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Scene: Local playground, lovely weather. Children playing in the sandbox.
Players: Several children, some parents, a grandmother, and Voice of Society Man (my alter-ego, who says the things that need to be said)

Grandmother (voice an octave higher than usual): Charlotte want snacky? Snacky? Juice juice? 
Charlotte stares up blankly.
Voice of Society Man (to Grandmother): Engwish first wanguage?
Grandmother stares up blankly.
Voice of Society Man: You want Charlotte grow up speak nice nice? You under impression children not process language unless speak to them like Tarzan? 

Really, folks. The literature’s been available for years, decades maybe. Children learn grammar and vocabulary despite your attempts to speak to them like an idiot. Plus it drives me crazy, and I’m not the only one — just the one who’s not afraid to speak up about it.

Sowwy for intwuding on your day. Cawwy on.