Have you guys seen that Modelo commercial where the three “hipster” dudes walk into the bar and the narrator’s talking about how mathematically awesome they are? And he says something about the group’s “Ace in the Hole”? The “garage rock … Continue reading
Category Archives: Rants
Revolving Doors‽‽‽ The Future™ is here!
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“What the hell is this? Some quadfurcated glass cylinder of death and maiming? Do I have to wait for safety? Does safety only come after an infuriating passage of time?” “Yesssss… [beat] Noooo… Man! Very nice! Works every time.!” Lots of … Continue reading
Audience Dos and Don’ts
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I’ve just come back from watching a local dance company’s annual performance. As usual, the only people in attendance are relatives and friends of the dancers along with a small handful of pedophiles who, apparently, are the ones who keep … Continue reading
The Avengers Suck
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There I said it. And I say it even more here. Sorry, I’ve been seeing other sites, too. But this one is pretty awesome, if you like independent art and comics that aren’t about superheroes…
I Don’t Like Change!!!! …On the Internet
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Damn you, internet! Damn you to Hell! My junior year of college I was in the dorm study hall/utility room (made it through five years of college without ever going to the liberry. Except for when I had a class … Continue reading
No diga, “Gracias,” gracias.
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You mean well. Probably. But you sound like an asshole. The busboy looks Hispanickish, so when he pours you some water or clears the bread plates, you say, “Gracias.” Totally normal, right? It’s the language he speaks and all. Probably. … Continue reading
Actually, I DO NOT Think My Shit Stink, Thank You Very Much
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It is a perplexing question, “What, you think your shit don’t stink?” I’ll be honest with you, person, I don’t. I really don’t think my shit stink. What, you think your shit do stink? Because, again, I’ll be honest with … Continue reading
Cheese Poll!
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You should not use two spaces after a period. Ever.
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So, you hit the spacebar after a long day at Spacely Space Sprockets before you inevitably get home and get on a crazy thing before Jane finally gets you off it. Or, you hit the spacebar twice after a period. In … Continue reading
You’re not a DJ. Shut up.
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You’re not a DJ. You press play on a computer. You don’t even have a turntable. You probably don’t know how to scratch, let alone mix or crab. You’re an asshole. And a disgrace. And not a DJ. You lose … Continue reading
