Would a vagine (or, I guess, a pene) that tasted like peanut butter and jelly be a good thing or a bad thing? Discuss. …I’m asking for a friend.
You mean well. Probably. But you sound like an asshole. The busboy looks Hispanickish, so when he pours you some water or clears the bread plates, you say, “Gracias.” Totally normal, right? It’s the language he speaks and all. Probably. … Continue reading
Today is Easter Monday. “Is that a thing?” Fuck if I know, do I look like I’m addicted to Cathahol? No, seriously. But do I look like a guy with a degree in Religious Studies? Yes. Unless I’m wearing a … Continue reading
Passover begins tonight. If you are proud of your Jewish heritage and love your religion and its rituals and holidays, my congratulations and best wishes. This is a wonderful week full of family, friends, and food (unless any of those … Continue reading
I cook delicious food. Sometimes it is more like “food”. Sometimes I call it “pig vomit” because I’m creative like that. I am going to marry the first broad that is willing to look past how it appears and not … Continue reading
Cooking is a polarizing act. Some people love nothing more than to spend a whole day crafting an elaborate meal, other people can’t stand to even be inside a kitchen. I’m somewhere in the middle: I don’t dislike cooking, but … Continue reading
Hey, I want a pear right now. Go get me one? Thanks. What? A Packham Pear? What do I look like, some kind of Australian pack mule? Go get me people food, jerk. An Anjou? What do I look like, some damn kind of Plantagenet? Is … Continue reading
Hey, humans! There’s a lot of misconstrued information out there. Most of it is straight from Big Ramen itself, because like the small, family-run tobacco companies, they don’t really care about their customers after you’ve bought their product. Point is, … Continue reading