We opened up this episode with Queen Nene, who is finally coming to a decision about her relationship with Greg. Despite Nene’s independent ways, she’s been very reluctant to end her marriage. Naturally, she confides in Cynthia – a paragon of happy married life. Thankfully, Cynthia doesn’t say much and Nene seems like she might actually go through with the divorce this time. Her “business partner” John wants her to move to New York where he is, even though he “appreciates her roots” or whatever that means. Then he lays a $30k Rolex on the girl. You can tell Nene is uncomfortable with how John feels about her, but she is not about to turn down this expensive stuff. He’s giving her all kinds of compliments “You make everyday Christmas” and that kind of game. She responds with “That’s great!” Haha. She’s not interested in committing to rich pizza guy John, but she’ll take a Rolex, which makes me feel gross. I’m probably much too involved in this show.

Now it’s time to check in on Kandi’s sex toy line…again. She gets samples of her products, including the main vibrator “Happiness and Joy”. (I swear I am not making
these names up.) It looks good – very well made and…ahem…powerful. Later, Phaedra meets Kandi at what looks like an adult version of Claires and the two ladies
talk about Kandi’s upcoming product launch party. Phaedra comes in the door talking about the men at the party. She actually calls herself a “donk-ologist” later in
the show. (Keep in mind, Phaedra’s mom is a minister, so this is especially funny.) Sheree comes in and says it’s been a long time since she’s been romanced. Maybe because you’re a desperate, clawing harpy, Sheree. That might have something to do with it. No wonder Bravo fired her. Of course, the women have interviews with aspiring male models for the party. The first two guys are super scrawny, so naturally they didn’t make the cut. Then “Jarrett” from Kenya comes in and he looks like a chocolate goddess. I am not exaggerating. He got hired on the spot. Jarrett is followed by a parade of shirtless guys with roses. Truly. But those guys didn’t do anything for me though. I don’t know why. Overt sexuality on men is just not a turn on for me. The ladies loved it though. Go figure.

The party is pretty well done and I recognized the neighborhood where they had it. But it’s very Atlanta. I like living here, but Atlanta is not a classy town typically. It’s a Southern town with a few large buildings, but it’s not in any way a metropolis. That’s how Kandi’s party was. Pretty but not sophisticated, and that’s fine. But it’s funny to see the city so perfectly typified at one event. And guess who came to the party with Nene and Cynthia? Mistress Marlo! We know you’ve missed her. Who wouldn’t miss someone with no class and charm at all? Cynthia shows up in what looks like pajamas. ATTENTION: Everyone everywhere in the world. Stop wearing pajamas in public. It’s not cute. You look like you’ve just given up on life. Cynthia was just hating on the whole party from the moment she came inside. You know how you can tell when someone isn’t successful? They start dogging other people out. Cynthia is not doing well in her life, ya’ll. Of course, Nene is just talking bad about everybody at the party. I guess because she’s taking expensive gifts from old rich white guys she’s doing better than them? Nene doesn’t realize it, but
she’s turning into Marlo. Then she says she’s “not really a club girl”. That’s rich coming from a former stripper. And did I see B. Scott at the party?

Sigh…it’s time for Kim to get some attention now. To use an old expression, Kim actually makes me stabby. I have three children who I stay at home with all day and
no family or nannies to help me, so every time she talks about being tired from the baby, I literally feel rage. It’s actually becoming a bit of a problem. I love how she talked about stepping up her gift-giving to Krog. She gives him a Porsche, which was probably bought with his money, but he’s too dumb to know better, so yay for them, I guess. Then she says “I’ve never even driven the thing, so I hope it’s okay.” Uh…why would you drive a car you’re giving to someone else? Ten bucks says Kim is driving that car in two weeks or less.

Then we finally get to Cynthia’s model casting call. I just have to digress for a second to deride Cynthia’s statement that models have to be smart. For some reason, just figuring out how to get from the airport to the hotel and from the hotel to a restaurant in an international city requires some kind of MENSA IQ. She actually said that. There just aren’t enough faces and palms on the planet to express how foolish she sounded at that moment. Then later during a Q&A with the prospects, she says that one of the girls who forgets her thought is already acting like a model. So which is it, Cynthia? Are models smart or dumb? If you are representative of the whole, we already know the answer. Okay, now as to the “models”. Was I the only one who thought some of them looked terrible? Naturally, some of the respondents were a hot mess, but I’m talking about the ones Cynthia eventually chose. A few of them were natural beauties, but some were just not. I’ll be tuning in next season just to see how badly this turns out.