Today is Easter Monday.
“Is that a thing?”
Fuck if I know, do I look like I’m addicted to Cathahol?
No, seriously. But do I look like a guy with a degree in Religious Studies? Yes. Unless I’m wearing a mask. Then I look like a guy with a degree in Religious Studies wearing a mask.
Anyway, yes, Easter Monday is a thing. And it’s even better than Easter Sunday. Not, however, better than Orthodox Easter. That’s the tits.
What makes it great?
Cheap fucking candy! That’s what makes it fucking great. Cheap. Fucking. Candy.
One Easter Monday a few years ago, I was picking out the eight most least damaged Cadbury Creme eggs at a Duane Reade (4 for a dollar, score!) and the manager happened to be behind the counter, and he’s just like “Take them all!” I brought the box back to work, gave them out to people. It was an awesome feeling. I mean they were these:
And nobody buys orange-creme eggs on purpose (why they were even left-over to begin with), but still. One of the better days of all time.
It’s great how a Hindu and a Jew can work together and impart the real meaning of Easter..
Imagine my consternation when I went to the CVS on Friday (which had gotten a jump on the Easter candy sale thing) and they were ALREADY OUT of Cadbury Mini Eggs. No Cadbury anything, for that matter. Sadface. All they had left were Peeps (gross) and those off-brand waxy looking jelly beans (double gross). CVS sucks.
I’d prefer not to, actually, I’m thinking happy thoughts about future candies, not sad ones about past non-candies…